How it started
I am fortunate enough to have a lot of first anniversaries this month. But none is more special than this one. One year ago, I married my partner of 26 years. We had planned to get married on our 25th anniversary in 2020, but like many people we had to put that plan on hold. Life was moving pretty slow–then speeding up. Then I started feeling ill. On December 3, I was scheduled for surgery. I decided I wasn’t going under anesthesia without marrying Karen.
We were married by @marathonguy26 and @dinotex29 arranged everything. We shared a maid of honor–our dear friend Julie–and @b.d.vn took photos. My mom, Julie’s husband Richard, & @maeegreen_ were the only guests. From all around the world, friends zoomed in to share our day.
Four days later, I woke up from five and a half hours of surgery. “Is it cancer?” I wanted to know. Karen looked deep into my eyes. “Yes.” She never told me it would all be okay. Instead she told me what I needed to hear as the life I’d imagined disappeared in an instant: “I’ve got you.”
Our first year of marriage has been a roller coaster. Throughout is all–from post-surgical wound dressing to driving me to chemo and sitting through every five hour session, going to every doctor’s appointment and every scan, holding me at night when the terror overcame me, and laughing until we cried with every good lab result , she was there.
There were beautiful moments with the terror and tears. Cancer has a strange way of suspending you in what really matters. Everything that is important becomes sharply, ferociously, clear. Karen. My family. My friends. My creative work. My readers who supported me with such empathy and compassion–not to mention afghans, cards, and cheerful messages.
Today may not be your anniversary, but instead of raising a toast to us, reach out to someone you love and declare this your anniversary. They probably did something amazing on this day. Celebrate that. And life. And faith over fear. And hope. And courage. And love.
